This little pig .....etc.

Post 507 - I'm in the mood for pig stories today...

A pig went into a bar and asked the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender gave the pig the water and when the pig was done he asked the bartender if he could use the restroom. The bartender said, "Sure. It's down the hall and to your right." A little while later another pig went into the bar and asked the bartender for two glasses of water. The bartender gave the pig the water and when the pig was done he asked the bartender if he could use the restroom.

The bartender said, "Sure. It's down the hall and to your right." Soon after, another pig went into the bar and asked the bartender for three glasses of water. The bartender gave the pig the water and when the pig was done he asked the bartender if he could use the restroom. The bartender said, "Sure. It's down the hall and to your right." Then another pig went into the bar and asked the bartender for four glasses of water. The bartender gave the pig the water and when the pig was done he asked the bartender if he could use the restroom. The bartender said, "Sure. It's down the hall and to your right."

After a little while another pig went into the bar and asked the bartender for five glasses of water. The bartender gave the pig the water and the pig drank all five glasses and was about to leave when the bartender stopped him and said, "Wait a minute. All these other pigs have come in here and drank between one and four glasses of water and they all needed to use the restroom. But you drank five whole glasses of water. Why don't you need to use the restroom too?" And the pig replied, "Don't you know the story? I'm the little pig that goes wee-wee-wee all the way home."

And here's another piece of pig folklore:

A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says, "Sure, we can put you up." The vagrant washes up for dinner and meets the family downstairs. Sitting at the dinner table are the farmer, his wife, their son, and a gigantic pig who is sitting at the table like a human.

Throughout the meal the vagrant tries not to stare at the pig, who sports three medals around his neck, as well as a wooden leg. Finally, he can contain his curiosity no longer. He asks "Would you mind telling me about the bronze medal around your pig's neck?" The farmer says "Sure. It's really an incredible story. Little Timmy here was swimming in the lake when he got a cramp and started to drown. This pig heard his cries for help, busted out of his pen, ran to the lake, and saved our son's life. So, we gave him the medal."

The vagrant is amazed and says "Well, how about that silver medal?" The farmer says "A few months ago our house caught fire in the middle of the night while we were all sleeping. This pig saw the flames, busted out of his pen and ran into the house, waking us up in time. To show our gratitude we gave him that silver medal."

The homeless man says "While I'm at it, I might as well ask you about the gold medal." The farmer says "My wife was attacked by a burglar several weeks ago. This pig heard her cries, busted out of his pen, and chased that man far away. To show my thanks I gave him that gold medal" The homeless man sits in awe of the pig, who is blithely eating his meal with a knife and fork.

He asks "What about the wooden leg?" The farmer says, matter-of-factly, "Well, you don't eat a pig like THAT all at once!"